Hammer It Home: Powertools, Book 6 Read online

  Dedication

  For all my readers.

  You have made this a landmark year in my writing career. By helping me reach several major milestones—like hitting the New York Times Bestseller list with my great friend and co-author, Mari Carr, and winning an RT Reviewer’s Choice Award for Best Erotic Romance of 2011—you’ve propelled me several giant steps closer to my dream of one day being able to proudly declare that I am a full-time writer.

  Thank you for your support.

  Chapter One

  “Awwww.” Morgan’s three best friends melted as Kate withdrew her latest purchases from the pink-and-blue-striped, lamb-dotted Cutie Patootie shopping bag to display for their approval. They passed around the itty bittiest pajama set Morgan had ever seen.

  “I love the matching fuzzy socks.” Kayla grinned.

  “So soft.” Devon sighed as she ran the tip of her index finger across the plush fabric.

  “Do you think they’ll be warm enough?” Kate nibbled at the inside of her cheek, highlighting her dimples. “Or maybe too thick?”

  “Don’t worry so much, Katiebug,” Neil chimed in from where he—along with the other four guys in the crew—slathered cheery green paint on one wall of the nursery. “Your girl’s probably going to kick them off anyway. My sister’s kids always seemed to strip and have their toes in their mouth in half a second flat.”

  “Look, it could be a boy. There’s no telling yet.” Mike paused with his roller in the middle of the patch of color he’d focused on. His lack of typical gusto made it seem as if even he didn’t believe the mantra he’d recited for nearly three months now.

  “How much longer do we have to wait to say, ‘I told you so’?” Dave dodged a half-hearted swipe from Mike. Not fast enough to avoid minty splatters on his already Pollock-esque coveralls. “The ultrasound is next week, right?”

  “Whoa. Stop that right there.” Kate wagged her finger at the guys. “No paint fights today. The baby will not be happy if you mess up her gorgeous new hardwood floors. A little drop cloth is no match for you when you get riled up.”

  “Last time I checked, you liked it when I got riled up.” Mike smirked until her admonishment sank in. “Hold up. Her floor? No. No. No. Whose side are you on?”

  He pouted, the roller forgotten in his hand, which dangled by his knee as his shoulders slumped.

  “The one that gives us a healthy baby of either gender.” She rolled her eyes at his exaggerated antics.

  “You know I am too.” Mike cleared his throat, drawing her attention to the lump of emotion he struggled to swallow around, making Morgan wonder what it would be like to see such awe on her husband, Joe’s, face. “It scares me a little, that’s all. A baby is so tiny already. So delicate. The thought of a girl half as beautiful as you and the hell I’ll have keeping her safe from teenaged horn-dogs…”

  James snorted and clasped his middle. “Oh, karma. Gotta love that bitch.”

  “Seriously, though…” Mike squinted down at his wife, who rubbed her rounded belly in cathartic circles. “What made you say that?”

  “I don’t know.” Kate practically glowed, despite her shrug. “I just…have a feeling. And I keep dreaming about her. I see you sitting there in the corner, on a white rocking chair with a frilly pink cushion, holding our daughter while she sleeps. It feels so real.”

  Mike set the roller in the tray and crossed to his wife. He wiped his hands on his pants before cupping her cheeks in his trembling fingers. “You saw her?”

  “Yeah.” Tears tracked down the slightly puffy cheeks of Morgan’s best friend. “Both of you together, and I knew I could never be more in love.”

  Morgan couldn’t stand upright another moment. The precious outfit she’d crumpled in her fist fluttered to the floor as her fingers went numb. She realized Kate didn’t intend for every word to eviscerate her as viciously as if she’d slashed Morgan with a thousand paring knives simultaneously. Still, the ragged cries clawing at her vocal cords threatened to rip free of her throat if she didn’t escape the reminder of all she’d never have.

  She squeezed past the couple, lost in each other.

  When Kate’s full abdomen brushed Morgan, she flinched as if scorched. The drop cloth twisted around her foot and she stumbled. Joe reached for her. She couldn’t bear to look her husband in the eye, afraid he might recognize her pain. Never would she add to his burdens.

  Except it seemed even without intending to, she had. Their relationship had grown strained lately. The more she tried to protect him, the more he seemed to blame himself, and today was no different.

  “I’m sorry, Mo.” His ragged whisper chased her as she fled the scene of adorable bliss.

  Lousy friend.

  Horrible partner.

  Failure of a wife.

  “Morgan.” Mike’s command boomed from the top of the stairs she clattered down. “Stop. Right now. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

  Something in her obeyed the foreman instinctively. Still, she couldn’t force herself to turn and face him. Ashamed, she dashed tears from her cheeks with the heels of her hands. Before she figured out what direction to go next, strong arms surrounded her, lifted her.

  She scrunched her lids closed and buried her face in the chest supporting her, too broad to be her husband’s or Mike’s. Definitely too big for James or Neil. “Dave.”

  “I’ve got you, doll.” The gentle giant had reached her first. He carried her into the living room where she soon found herself surrounded by friends and lovers.

  At times like this, she couldn’t have been more certain the crew had evolved into something beyond a gang of friends who doubled as fuck buddies. These eight other people—five construction workers and the women they’d made their life partners—shared a bond stronger than sex.

  When she peeked from the shelter of Dave’s embrace, her gaze locked on her husband as if drawn by a rare-earth magnet. The rest of the group closed rank around them, shuffling Joe to the center of the semi-circle flanking the couch.

  Hands guided him, pressing on his shoulders until he sank beside her.

  Acid ate holes in her stomach when he sat, stiff. Leaning away from her, he was careful not to touch a single molecule of her legs, bare beneath the hem of her flirty sundress.

  “Enough.” Mike shattered their perpetual cycle of guilt, pain and self-loathing. “This is insane. I refuse to watch two of my best friends ruining the most amazing thing in their lives. Dave, give her back to Joe.”

  When the big man kissed her forehead and shifted to transfer her, Joe sighed. “I’m not sure you should force her, Mike. I wouldn’t want me either. I’m defective. Useless.”

  Then no one needed to prod her.

  Morgan launched herself at her husband. In her peripheral vision, she caught a glimpse of Kayla hugging Dave, since her mate had been left empty-handed. Morgan and Joe weren’t the only ones suffering. Their agony and disappointment radiated outward, tainting everyone who loved them.

  How selfish had she been?

  “Joe.” She straddled his lap. Still he refused to lift his stare from his limp hands. They rested, palms up, on the cushions beside his powerful thighs and her pale knees. “Please, look at me.”

  When he granted her request, the torment in his stare stole her breath. Ten times more potent than the loss and regret she harbored because he couldn’t get her pregnant, his misery ripped her heart from shreds into tatters.

  “I’m so sorry,” they murmured in unison.

  A multitude of hands rubbed Morgan’s back and Joe’s arms, which banded around her. She spied her friends stroking her husband’s powerful shoulders from either side of him, where they had crowded beside and behin
d the couple on the couch.

  “You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing. You hear me?” Morgan shook her man, though he barely budged.

  “Sure, right. Then why are you pulling away from me?” The laugh lines at the corner of his eyes had all but vanished from disuse. Tension drew them tight, repurposing them into deep gouges in the planes of his usually affable visage. “You can’t even bear to be in the same room as me most of the time. I don’t remember the last night I fell asleep with you in my arms, or woke to you snuggled next to me. You think I don’t know you’re stalling when you’re downstairs baking until two in the morning? Napping on the couch for a few hours before preparing for the early rush? This is bullshit. I can’t take it anymore. Just cut me loose already. I can’t survive another day wondering if it’s the last. The one when you finally admit you deserve better. This resentment is going to poison everything we shared. I don’t hold it against you. I understand, cupcake. I can’t give you what you need.”

  Her guts roiled.

  She jerked as if he’d slapped her.

  And still she wished she could flay herself a million times over for giving him the wrong impression. All that time suffering alone, for nothing.

  “No.” She smothered his face with butterfly kisses. “You have it all backwards. It’s me that’s the problem. I’m greedy. Selfish. So angry at myself. How can I be disappointed when I’m so damn lucky?”

  “What?” Joe blinked up at her as if she’d lost her marbles.

  “I tried to keep busy so you wouldn’t see my grief. I didn’t want to hurt you.” She sobbed. “I think I made a big mistake.”

  “Shush, both of you.” Mike plopped beside them. He nudged the couple with his shoulder, rocking them with his gentle pressure, and infusing them with his heat. “No one is winning here. I let this go on too long. I think because I felt like shit, knowing Kate and I have what you want. I let that fuck with my perspective. This is nuts. You love each other. Nothing should matter more than that.”

  Morgan glanced up to see Devon, James and Neil nodding their agreement.

  Dave stood with his feet spread, his arms crossed over his chest.

  “Is this some kind of intervention?” She attempted to deflect the concerned disapproval with levity. Her attempt flopped.

  “I guess you could say that.” Kate mirrored her husband, sitting on the couch on Morgan and Joe’s other side. She cleared her throat, then scanned the gathering. No one spoke up when she paused, so she continued, “We’ve discussed the matter.”

  “Who’s we?” Joe tensed again beneath Morgan. She rubbed his chest, reminding him the crew meant well. “All of you? Talked about us behind our backs?”

  His cheeks flamed.

  “There was nothing sinister about it,” Mike growled. Rare displeasure rolled off the foreman, making Morgan blink. “If I didn’t know how rocky these past few months have been, I’d kick your ass for thinking such stupid shit. We’re trying to help.”

  “Oh yeah, and how do you propose to do that?” Joe harrumphed. “Wave your magic wand over my cock? Implant some healthy swimmers in my nutsack when I’m sleeping? They said the chance is next to nothing. No hope, Mike. None. Not all of us can be Captain Fertility like you, knocking up your wife on the first try.”

  “Don’t you see…?” Kate tilted her head, curious yet stern. She would make one hell of a mom.

  “See what?” The hairs dusting the nape of Morgan’s neck began to rise. She shifted her stare from one friend to the next.

  “Dev, grab the folder from the sideboard, would you?” Mike gestured with his chin.

  The cute construction worker, the only girl on the crew, dashed for the requested item and delivered it to Mike’s outstretched hand in a flash. She smiled softly, then squeezed Joe and Morgan’s linked fingers.

  When had that happened? Morgan wasn’t sure, but she’d missed the warmth of his partnership recently. Only herself to fault for that, really.

  “What’s all that?” Joe’s hostility morphed into curiosity.

  “We have a surprise for you this time.” Mike flipped open the manila cardstock and thumbed through the papers inside. “Me, Dave, James and Neil all got tested. You know, for genetic markers and a bunch of other shit I didn’t understand much about.”

  “Why?” Joe squawked. His body vibrated beneath Morgan.

  She smothered him with affection as best as she knew how. Because surely, there was only one reason the guys would subject themselves to that kind of medical scrutiny.

  Mike looked to his wife for help. Fancy talk had never been his strength. Morgan felt pretty sure what they were about to say might change all of their lives forever.

  “They wanted to see which of them would have the best shot of giving you a baby.” Kate stuck to direct yet sympathetic. “We also did a lot of research on adoption. We’ve scraped together some money if you’d rather try that route. But lots of people use sperm banks. You wouldn’t have to stick with our guys if the idea makes you uncomfortable. We just thought…you might want some options.”

  “And you’re all willing to make a charitable donation, is that what you’re saying?” Joe sneered. “Great, I love being the dude all my friends pity.”

  “Quit being so defensive.” Mike socked him in the shoulder. “This isn’t the Joe I know. Pull your head out of your ass and think about this for a second. Look at what you’re doing to your wife. Your marriage. Are you willing to throw that all away for pride? If so, then you’re not the man I thought I respected enough to suggest this to.”

  When Joe’s stare winged to her, Morgan tried not to flinch. She took a deep breath and held still, afraid to tend the seed of hope Mike had just planted. If it sprouted then withered, she might not survive. Blank, she allowed Joe to form his own impressions.

  “Oh, fuck.” His head crashed to the cushion behind him. “You’re right.”

  “It’s not too late to fix things.” Kate finger-combed his hair from his brow. “Tell her what’s in your heart. Right now, before the moment’s gone.”

  Joe took a breath so deep his lungs rattled. He sat upright, pressing close. For the first time in months, he donned the confident, sexy swagger he’d always worn as well as his favorite ripped old pair of jeans. “I never want to see that guarded look on your face again, Mo. That’s not the girl I love. I can’t believe I’ve done this to you. To us. There were other ways. Other choices. I just… I felt so much like I’d let you down.”

  “Leave the past alone.” Mike kept them on track. “You can only change the future. Where do you want to go from here?”

  “Who had the best chance?” Joe didn’t hesitate.

  “Neil.” Mike’s smile turned wry. “Apparently, he’s pretty lucky he hasn’t done it by accident at this rate. Dev should probably double the dosage of her birth control shots.”

  “You’re welcome.” James pinched his longtime lover on the ass. Devon, James and Neil laughed as they hugged each other. “Seems like my ass might have saved yours.”

  “Okay.” Joe nodded before returning his gaze to Morgan. “What do you say? Want a tall, pain-in-the-ass kid with blond hair? I bet Neil can rub one out in the doctor’s office in thirty seconds or less and we can be on our way. No muss, no fuss, right, Mikey?”

  “Something like that.” Their foreman sounded wary. “It doesn’t have to be so crude.”

  The clinical nature of the deed frightened Morgan. She imagined bright whitish-blue lights, doctors poking and prodding her, and antiseptic smells corroding what should have been one of the happiest moments of her life. Suddenly she didn’t know if she could sign up for such a sterile origin for her child. Then again, what choice did she have?

  The pressure of her friends’ regard bore down on her until she thought she might be squished flatter than a pancake. They were trying to help. Offering a solution.

  “Morgan?” Joe narrowed his eyes as he observed her pulse speeding in her neck.

  She had to escape their scr
utiny. She couldn’t hide anything from the crew. But she didn’t know if she was ready to be totally honest yet—either with them…or herself.

  “I…” No matter how many times she swallowed, she couldn’t manage to clear the lump in her throat. “Thank you. Really. I just… It’s a lot. Need some time. To think.”

  Scrambling off Joe’s lap, she rushed for the door.

  Heavy booted footsteps trailed close behind her. Their owner didn’t try to stop her, but followed at a safe distance instead.

  By the time she’d run to the passenger side of Joe’s truck, she’d calmed enough to lift her head. Through two panes of glass and the chasm of the cab between, she watched her husband monitoring her reaction. “Let’s go home, Mo. We can figure it out together.”

  The truck separating them distorted his reassurance. Still, she could decipher the movement of his lips. Not hard to understand him. After all, it was as though he read her wishes straight from her soul. If nothing else, she promised him silently right then, she’d quit letting this baby fiasco ruin their relationship.

  No matter what she had to do, she’d fix things.

  For them both.

  Joe climbed inside. He reached across the bench seat to unlock and open her door. Then he extended a green-splotched hand, which she latched on to as if it were a lifeline, and used it to tug her into the vehicle. Without letting go, he backed out of the driveway. His fingers never abandoned hers, not even to wave to the cluster of seven worried friends huddled on Kate and Mike’s porch.

  She stared at the rest of the crew until they were specks in the side mirror, wondering—with each foot of distance that they added between them and their friends—if she’d dug this yawning pit deeper than it had already been.

  Chapter Two

  Morgan didn’t object when Joe told her to sit tight before jogging around to her side of the truck. She slid willingly into his open arms when he invited her. All her energy had drained away as she mulled over their options on the short ride home. She clutched the manila folder he handed her to her chest and allowed him to carry her up the stairs to their apartment over her bakery, Sweet Treats.